Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Night Terrors

Anyone out there that has ever had the privilege of sleeping overnight in the same house as Kim knows what I am about to talk about. She is the night terror queen. I've been married to her for 8 1/2 years, and I thought I'd seen everything until this last one. Let me give you a few examples before I begin:

1. Kim and I had just moved from Provo, Utah to her parents' basement in Aurora, Colorado. I was watching t.v. one night, and she went down to bed early. When I came down a few hours later, I creaked the door open as softly as I could, but it wasn't soft enough. Kim shot out of bed so fast, it almost made me scream because I was so startled. She pulled all of the blankets off of the bed, huddled into the corner, and screamed as loud as humanly possible. Everyone in the house woke up. Her dad came running down the stairs. My heart was beating a mile a minute. Kim was screaming so loud, she started losing her voice. The closer I got to her to try and calm her down, the louder she screamed. I didn't know what to do. Her dad barged into the room, probably thinking his new son-in-law was murdering his daughter. She finally snapped out of the night terror, everyone got a good laugh, and I'm pretty sure we both had to change our underwear.

2. I believe I was playing dominoes at the dining room table with Kim's two younger sisters, Courtney and Melissa. Kim was sleeping on the couch in the t.v. room. All of a sudden, we hear Kim screaming at the top of her lungs and see her running straight toward us, blanket in tow. She stopped, turned around, huddled on the ground, pointed at the ceiling, and started screaming, "Spider! Spider!" There was no spider on the ceiling. In fact, with the hundreds of spider on the ceiling night terrors I've witnessed, there has never actually been a spider on the ceiling.

3. Kim and I had recently bought our own house in Centennial, Colorado. As I was in peaceful slumber in our very own master bedroom one night, I felt all the bedding being ripped off of the bed. I looked up just in time to hear Kim scream and then catch a glimpse of her as she bolted out of the door with the comforter, sheet, and a pillow in her death grip. I don't remember exactly what she was screaming about that time, but I do remember being uncomfortably cold waiting for her to come back with the blankets.

I could go on and on, but let me get to the point. Kim had the strangest night terror a couple of nights ago. Ever since her belly has started protruding, Kim has not been able to sleep on her back in the bed. She bought this big nest/pillow contraption that she wraps herself in and sleeps propped up on the couch. She went to bed early one night, but I wasn't tired yet, so I was quietly trying to watch some t.v. on one couch as she slept on the other. I was deeply engrossed in Sportscenter highlights when I started to hear opera singing. Loud opera singing. It scared me so bad, I dropped the remote. I picked it up, muted the t.v., turned around, and saw Kim propped up on her elbows singing opera with full vibrato. Her head was pulled all the way back like a coyote howling at the moon. I asked out loud, "Are you serious?" (She was in a deep sleep and has no recollection of the incident.) I had to wake her up to make her stop. I tried telling her that was one of the weirdest things I had ever seen in my life, but she fell right back asleep.

I need to invest in a time-lapse video camera or something so other people can enjoy these episodes as well.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Holy Road Trip, Batman!

I am not feeling creative right now, so here is a generic travelogue filled with great pictures and boring captions:

After months of debating between Frankenstein, a ninja, Spiderman, and Batman, Owen decided he wanted to be Batman for Halloween.

We made the 16 hour drive from St. George to Pasco, Washington to spend Halloween with my side of the family. We stopped in Tremonton, Utah to pick up some skinny lady named Mom. I don't even recognize this woman anymore.

When we got to Pasco, there was some skinny girl named Kim who apparently is my sister. They've lost 100 pounds between the two of them.

Luckily we had some time for a brief visit in Spokane to see Tim, Julie, Jeff, Drew, Jason, and Nick.

Kim runs a preschool out of her house. I got to relive my teaching days and read some Halloween books to the kids.

Owen got to be a student for 3 days, and he absolutely loved it.

He joined the 4 year old class for two days, and the 3 year old class for one day, so he got double the treats and candy.

We made a trip to the pumpkin patch.

We climbed the hay pyramid.

We found some nice pumpkins, but we ended up not buying them due to a misunderstanding on price. How do those people sleep at night knowing they charge so much?

Aaaaahhhhh. How cute.

The 30th was the Myers' ward Trunk or Treat party.
Me=1967 Seattle Supersonic,
Kim P.=pregnant housewife,
Brady=the Scream guy,
Kim M.=hippie

Jeff=Urine-bag-toting, rear-end-exposed hospital patient

We trick-or-treated around Kim's neighborhood on Halloween night. Owen had a blast. We found out his favorite candy is just the plain old Hershey bar. It was hard to get to sleep that night being hyped up on candy, but we eventually did. We woke up at 4:30 the next morning and drove 16 hours back to St. George.