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Monday, September 29, 2008

Weird Dream

I want to blog about our recent trip up to Logan, and I want to respond to a tag from The Hirschi Kiss blog, but I need to blog about this weird dream first. I'm sure you've noticed I've brought back the Seattle Seahawks layout. They are struggling right now and they need all the moral support they can get. I had a dream last night that I was the new Seattle Seahawks quarterback coach. The song you are hearing in the background was being blasted through the stadium speakers during practice. Every time one of the Seahawks receivers was injured and carted off of the field, Jerry Rice would pull up in a limousine in full Seahawks uniform, asking to be on the team again. We turned him away every time because he was just too old to keep up. Don't ask me why this Celine Dion song was playing. Maybe the words were giving us the moral support the team so desperately needs right now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Month of Firsts

Rhett:
Sat up by himself


Ate solid food


Said "Dada" while wearing soccer ball Easter basket hats with Owen

(OK. He really didn't say "Dada" here, but he has said it numerous times when waking up in the morning. I just haven't captured any video of it yet...and I couldn't resist posting this picture.)

Owen:
Started preschool


Kim:
Got to church at 9:00 am! Not 9:25 am!
(We live 3 minutes from the church. I go early to set up chairs.)

Me:
Set the record for the highest single game score in Shortbus Fantasy Football Fantasy Freaks League history. My team is the Boomslangs. I got 187 points in week 2. I know. I'm a dork.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Young Lady, Get Out of Here

I finally have some time this morning to post this funny story:

We have a nursing home in our ward boundaries called The Beehive Home. Every Sunday from 1pm to about 1:30pm, members from our ward go over to the home and do a little sacrament meeting for the residents. Once a month, the Elders Quorum is assigned to do the talk and the prayers. As the Elders Quorum secretary, it is my job to find people to fulfill these responsibilities. Let me just say that it is probably easier to conjugate Finnish verbs with a gun to your head than it is to find someone from the Elders Quorum to give a 5 minute talk or a prayer at The Beehive Home. Needless to say, the talk assignment is often fulfilled by yours truly. A few times, I have had to ask Kim to come with me and say one of the prayers. This was the case last Sunday on August 31st. Wherever Kim and I are, there's an Owen and a Rhett also. The residents absolutely love when kids come to visit, so Rhett got pretty excited with all of the attention he was receiving. It was time for the meeting to start, but Rhett was still juiced up with excitement. He was squealing like a little porker getting chased in a Greased Pig Scramble. Kim handed Rhett to me so she could say the opening prayer. That was alright. Then it was time for the sacrament. Rhett was getting louder. Then it was time for me to give my talk. Rhett was full-squeal volume now. Kim took Rhett into one of the back hallways to no avail. I was about 2 minutes into my talk when one of the residents raised her hand. I thought, "Oh how precious. This little old lady has a question about some deep point of doctrine. Why not? Let's see what she has to say." So I acknowledged her and said, "Yes?" Little old woman answered angrily, "There is a young lady here with a baby who is making a lot of noise. You are up there going through the motions but I can't hear a word you are saying. Can someone please tell that young lady to leave?" I stood there with my mouth open as the other members of the ward tried to hold back their giggling. I looked over at Kim and said, "Young lady, get out of here!" By now, everyone in the room was laughing except the angry old woman. Kim took Owen and Rhett outside and sat on a bench where Rhett could squeal to his heart's content. I finished my talk, we had a closing song and prayer, and then I went outside with Kim where we were bombarded with apologies from various residents and members of the ward. We weren't offended at all, so it was funny that we were getting so many apologies. It turns out that the angry old woman suffers from dementia.

So long story short, I kicked my family out of a church meeting. I can't wait to go back and see what happens next time.