Young Lady, Get Out of Here

I finally have some time this morning to post this funny story:

We have a nursing home in our ward boundaries called The Beehive Home. Every Sunday from 1pm to about 1:30pm, members from our ward go over to the home and do a little sacrament meeting for the residents. Once a month, the Elders Quorum is assigned to do the talk and the prayers. As the Elders Quorum secretary, it is my job to find people to fulfill these responsibilities. Let me just say that it is probably easier to conjugate Finnish verbs with a gun to your head than it is to find someone from the Elders Quorum to give a 5 minute talk or a prayer at The Beehive Home. Needless to say, the talk assignment is often fulfilled by yours truly. A few times, I have had to ask Kim to come with me and say one of the prayers. This was the case last Sunday on August 31st. Wherever Kim and I are, there's an Owen and a Rhett also. The residents absolutely love when kids come to visit, so Rhett got pretty excited with all of the attention he was receiving. It was time for the meeting to start, but Rhett was still juiced up with excitement. He was squealing like a little porker getting chased in a Greased Pig Scramble. Kim handed Rhett to me so she could say the opening prayer. That was alright. Then it was time for the sacrament. Rhett was getting louder. Then it was time for me to give my talk. Rhett was full-squeal volume now. Kim took Rhett into one of the back hallways to no avail. I was about 2 minutes into my talk when one of the residents raised her hand. I thought, "Oh how precious. This little old lady has a question about some deep point of doctrine. Why not? Let's see what she has to say." So I acknowledged her and said, "Yes?" Little old woman answered angrily, "There is a young lady here with a baby who is making a lot of noise. You are up there going through the motions but I can't hear a word you are saying. Can someone please tell that young lady to leave?" I stood there with my mouth open as the other members of the ward tried to hold back their giggling. I looked over at Kim and said, "Young lady, get out of here!" By now, everyone in the room was laughing except the angry old woman. Kim took Owen and Rhett outside and sat on a bench where Rhett could squeal to his heart's content. I finished my talk, we had a closing song and prayer, and then I went outside with Kim where we were bombarded with apologies from various residents and members of the ward. We weren't offended at all, so it was funny that we were getting so many apologies. It turns out that the angry old woman suffers from dementia.

So long story short, I kicked my family out of a church meeting. I can't wait to go back and see what happens next time.