100 Things About Me

This blog is in response to the Oh Me Oh Myers blog. Here I go:

1. I can say the hardest tongue twister in the world. (It's in Xhosa, a South African clicking language.)
2. My 5th and 6th vertebrae are fused together.
3. I once squirted mayonnaise all over some guy's shoulder on an airplane.
4. I can say the alphabet backwards faster than anyone I know.
5. I can belch the alphabet backwards faster than anyone I know.
6. I have yet to find a worthy opponent in Boggle.
7. I have written a children's book, but no publisher has published it. Yet.
8. I am a die hard Seattle sports fan.
9. I turned 13 years old on Friday the 13th of October.
10. I consider myself a very lucky man.
11. I lived in South Africa for 2 years.
12. I lived in London for 8 hours.
13. My favorite number is 13.
14. I was born in Georgia.
15. I have veins that formed between my first ribs and collarbones, so I can't raise my arms above my head for extended periods of time or I lose circulation.
16. I have a not so secret crush on Reese Witherspoon, Elisabeth Shue, and Gwen Stefani...and Blake Lewis.
17. I love to play the piano.
18. I used to love to play the violin.
19. I wish I had a drum set so I could play more drums.
20. My middle name is Dale.
21. My dog and I have a matching snaggle tooth.
22. I hate it when people write my name and leave out the r. Where is the rrr sound in Chis, people?
23. Nothing says satisfaction like 2 tacos and a chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box.
24. I ate 36 deviled eggs one Easter. I would have had more, but we ran out.
25. My bowels were not affected after eating 36 deviled eggs. (It's true, ask Kim.)
26. I hate changing light bulbs. (see #15)
27. Tomatoes are the most disgusting food in the history of mankind.
28. I love chocolate milk.
29. I have ridden on the back of an ostrich.
30. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Elementary Education in 2002.
31. I quit teaching elementary school in 2005.
32. I love a good jigsaw puzzle.
33. My best (and completely honest) round of golf on a par 72 course was 91.
34. I am not very good at golf.
35. I think about weird things, like I wish I could figure out how many baked beans I have eaten in my life.
36. When I drive, I unscramble street signs, billboards, car makes and models, etc., etc., etc., in my head to make different words.
37. On a stop sign, I see 5 other 4 letter words besides STOP. Do you?
38. I can't paint ceilings. (see #15)
39. I sold cars during February and March of 2006.
40. I know nothing about cars.
41. I won my school spelling bees in 4th and 8th grade.
42. I did not win the district spelling bees.
43. I'll never forget how to spell flamboyant or ricochet.
44. I have a mole on my left butt cheek.
45. I love 1980s love songs.
46. I've only been to 2 concerts in my life...Garth Brooks and Cake.
47. I hate needles.
48. I can't watch tv shows about plastic surgery.
49. I actually enjoy watching the kids show Backyardigans with Owen.
50. I have many Backyardigans songs memorized.
51. I secretly want to be a garbage man. Seriously.
52. I am self-conscious about all of the lines on the palms of my hands.
53. I am self-conscious about the way I walk and run. My feet go out like a duck.
54. I love the thrill of high places when I'm strapped in a roller coaster or on an observatory deck of a skyscraper, but I am scared to death of climbing a ladder and being on a roof hanging Christmas lights.
55. My earliest memory is when my mom laid me on an ironing board, opened up my diaper, and found the penny that I had swallowed earlier.
56. I can shake my eyeballs back and forth really fast.
57. I can write my name upside down and backwards in cursive.
58. My favorite food is the full slab of ribs at Texas Road House.
59. I had to get stitches when my brother Tim hit me over the head with an Easter bunny.
60. I ate 9 pounds of food one Thanksgiving.
61. I can juggle 3 objects by myself and 5 objects with someone else.
62. My biggest pet peeve is when people put an apostrophe before the s in plural words. Example: My biggest pet peeve is when people put an apostrophe before the s in plural word's.
63. I used to have a pet rat named Dozer.
64. My favorite Fraggle was Wembley.
65. I used to work at Jack in the Box right after the e. coli breakout.
66. I was a certified grill technician at Jack in the Box.
67. I have shed a few tears after hearing the phrase, "Move that bus!"
68. I have never bought a birthday, anniversary, Valentine's, or Mother's Day card for my wife. I would much rather make one myself with a funny poem.
69. The first time I met my wife, I was wearing a blond afro wig and a ski mask.
70. I love root beer.
71. I only wore my head gear and retainers the night before I had an orthodontist appointment. (see #21)
72. I have worn contact lenses since 5th grade.
73. My 3rd grade students from 5 years ago thought that I was the best kickball player on the planet.
74. I did not win the end of the year orchestra award at my 9th grade awards assembly.
75. My most embarrassing moment was when I walked up to the stage because I thought I won the end of the year orchestra award at my 9th grade awards assembly.

76. My wife broke up with me 3 weeks after we started dating.

77. I proposed to my wife 4 months after she dumped me.

78. I ate ostrich jerky and crocodile pizza on the same day.

79. I have a small scar on my pinky from being bit by a penguin.

80. I was named Christopher because my mom wanted my nickname to be Kit.

81. My nickname in elementary school was Crispy Owl.

82. I love a good card trick.

83. I am still bitter about my Sonics not winning the NBA championship in 1996.

84. I am extremely bitter that my Seahawks did not win the Superbowl in 2006.

85. My motto in life is..."Why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow?"

86. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

87. I will probably vote for Mitt Romney.

88. I am allergic to that heavy duty hand soap used to get ink and car grease off of your skin.

89. I had my appendix taken out in August of 2004.

90. I have broken my right arm twice.

91. The best thing about my life is being Kim's husband and Owen's dad.

92. I want at least 5 more kids.

93. Kim and I are currently trying to adopt, so if you know any pregnant girls thinking about adoption, please contact us.

94. I lost 23 pounds on Weight Watchers.

95. I have gained 7 pounds back.

96. I like dark meat better than white meat.

97. Two Halloweens ago, I safety pinned bacon to my clothes and dressed up as breakfast.

98. I am anal about laundry. I will not let Kim hang up or fold my clothes.

99. Nothing makes me laugh as much as the Farting Preacher on youtube.com. Look it up.

100. I don't ever see myself doing a 100 Things About Me blog again.

If I have forgotten anything cool, funny, poignant, or embarrassing about myself, I apologize, but I don't care. I spent entirely way too much time on this list.